running = binge drinking | One To Nothin'

running = binge drinking

I know there are a ton of big-drinker-anti-runner types out there that are going to tell me I'm clinically insane for saying this, but I've recently discovered that long distance running (like, 10+) is a lot like binge drinking. Let me explain.

At the beginning of your run, much like the first couple of shots you take, you feel really good and you go fast. You're energized, you're warm and fuzzy inside, you think to yourself, "Self, we could do this all day! In fact, that's not a bad idea, let's just keep doing this for a really long time because we could only possibly feel more awesome from here, right?" So you keep running Kenyan-style and you keep downing shots like a janky freshwater bitch fish. 

Pretty soon you feel yourself starting to get loosey goosey. You're like, "Yes, this is what it's about! I'm feeling that runner's high/tipsy dipsy twirl. Shakira bod here I come," then BAM you fall flat on your face. Next thing you know you're bleeding from head to toe, but you know what? It's cool because the adrenaline/1.0 BAC has made you impervious to pain, so you decide to keep running/drinking.

The next stretch of time gets pretty fuzzy when you try to think about it later, but finally you get to a point where you just have to stop and vom your guts out. If you're lucky you'll be close to a garbage can/toilet at this point.

Despite the fact that you're sloppy, sweaty, pukey and gross, guys will still try to honk at/hit on you.

If you're a champ, you'll puke and rally and eventually you'll make it back to your bed. You'll definitely need a shower, but chances are you won't care at this point so you'll pass out in your bed for a few hours. When you finally wake up, you'll be severely dehydrated and your entire body will be sore. You won't want to get out of bed, but you'll have to because you need Gatorade and Advil. Oh, and you're ravenously hungry because you just burned 5 billion calories/consumed 5 billion liquid calories that need to be replaced with more calories in the form of In-N-Out burgers.

I will definitely admit that running hangovers are far more enjoyable than binge drinking hangovers, but running adventures are way less fun to recount to friends later on, so I guess they even out. Just don't drink away your running-inflicted injuries because that leads to the worst kind of hangovers, not that I would ever do something like that...

Have I convinced you non-runners to start training for a marathon yet?

Here's my week in fitness:

Saturday: 12 mile run
Monday: 3 mile run TIU in 30
Tuesday:  4 mile run 
Thursday: 3.6 mile run Blogilates Abs TIU Core move

And here's a playlist that you can run AND get drunk to! Happy Friday!

Linking up with Whit!


  1. LOVE THIS. and depending on who your friends are they may want to rehash your runs !

  2. haha, this makes me laugh! Being a runner, I completely agree!

  3. You always make the best playlists. I'm totally jammin out right now :)

  4. At least your bum looks better after a long run. Yet another post that makes me wish I could get into running.

  5. This is great. I'm totally listening to this tonight when I work out.


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