Today is the first day of October and with this cold splash of obvious to the face comes a post all about my favorite topic: COSTUMES. I'm going to teach you how to create the
sluttiest best costume for any occasion as demonstrated by my broke baby-faced-baby-bodied-college-sorositute self.
This step is critical if you want to have money leftover to order 5star once you get home and have the drunk munchies. Instead of buying costumes, you just swap them around with your friends. In none of the above photos am I wearing my own clothes. None. My personal fave is the firefighter costume. I didn't have a helmet, boots, a hose or any other indication that I was, in fact, a firefighter other than the reflectors strategically placed across my bod. Perfection. Also, when in doubt throw on a brown dress and a coke wrapper. Genius.
If you were lucky enough to partake in the art of dance growing up, don't even think about throwing away those hideous costumes you had to flail around on stage in. These bad boys are pure Halloween GOLD. I mean, what starts out as goofy purple fringe capris on an awkward 12 year old turns into super sexy, glittery, fringey hotness as a 21 year old. And who doesn't love some spandex faux knee-high boots with holes on the bottom for your tap shoes? Try to contain yourselves.
Check under your sink before you start snooping around a costume store. Sometimes the best costumes are right under our silly little noses. Take that garbage bag skirt up there for instance. Yea, I'm a puzzle, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm wearing a garbage bag for a skirt. And Emma? She's wearing tootsie roll wrappers. Got extra bubble wrap hanging around? BOOM, you're a bubble. Or just decide that wearing a piece of foam you painted the Dippin' Dots logo onto counts as a costume.
When you embrace your inner nerd, you end up with costumes that 80% of people don't get, but the 20% who do think you're freakin' awesome. #worthit We've got Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, Sarah from Labyrinth and Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. Again, stay away from store bought costumes for ultimate costume crushing. That Sally costume was made from a men's Hane's t-shirt, Sarah's dress was from Goodwill and Lara's guns were spray painted squirt guns (which I found out after filling with vodka and bringing to the bar is illegal, woops).
Self-explanatory. I started in 8th grade and I haven't looked back since. Avril Lavigne is always a solid costume choice. Extra points if you can find an extremely douchey guy to dress up as Chad Kroeger and do a mashup of "Photograph" and "Sk8r Boi."
There you have it, friends. May you never have to wear lingerie and animal ears to a costume party ever again. Or do. Just make sure I'm invited.