The One Where I Embarrass My Exes | One To Nothin'

The One Where I Embarrass My Exes

I mentioned to you all in this post that I'm a serial monogamist of sorts. While I'm currently trying to work on the whole being single, loving myself, blah, blah stuff, when I look back on Valentine's Days past I always seem to have had a boyfriend. So with the big V coming up on Thursday, I thought I'd take a little stroll down lovers-past lane and describe some of the adorable, hilarious and awkward romantic gestures these poor souls who put up with me have done in the past (sorry, guys..).
Remember that scene in "Love Actually" where Keira Knightly opens the door to this adorable man confessing his love via poster board? No? Watch this, then come back (and if you haven't seen the whole movie, do it because it's awesome). This is definitely one of my favorite movies, so my boyfriend at the time tried out this romantic gesture...except the cards had different messages, the song playing (which wouldn't start at first) was not "Silent Night" and it was a lot harder to execute in real life as it turns out. I appreciated it anyway. 
This gesture was pretty funny. I had the BIGGEST crush on this dude in 8th grade and we started dating the summer before freshman year. He dumped me when school started I guess because of all the high school babes. But then he realized what he was missing out on (heavy eyeliner, men's Vans and hair down to my knees? Um, yes please) so one day as we crossed paths in the hallway, he handed me a permanent marker and stripped off his shirt. His back read 'Will you go out with me? Yes No Maybe.' 
And yes, I am the asshole that checked 'maybe.'
This was a map of my parents' house leading me to the buried treasure in the backyard, strategically placed there by my boyfriend at the time. I think it was on my birthday because of the Jell-O shot clue, and I'm pretty sure there were Hannah Montana stickers inside the treasure chest. I think this was the same birthday that my friend hid a Target gift card in the bottom of a bowl of chocolate pudding. I think making people work for their presents is severely underrated.
What you're looking at here is a homemade guitar.. from a shoebox. It was a Christmas gift from my boyfriend at the time (back when we couldn't drive or talk on the phone past 9pm), but he made me swear up and down that I wouldn't open the present until midnight Christmas Eve, so I didn't. My favorite part is the butt crack on the bottom of it.

So.. consider this fair warning, boys. If you ever do anything thoughtful/sweet/bizarre for me, I will blog about it one day. Even if it is eight years later..


  1. I would have checked "maybe" too. lol! Don't feel down about being alone on Valentine's Day. I've only had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day once in my life. I still love the holiday because of the meaning behind it. Love itself in all sizes, shapes and forms. Maybe go out and have some fun with friends, you might just meet a cute guy doing the same! (if not, at least you'll have fun with people you love!) :)

  2. This is so great!! The map is probably my favorite...but does that one room say "land of large tongues"?! Hahahaha

  3. what the heck?! i have never had anything even remotely cool done for me like this aha. i mean.. i met my boyfriend randomly online, not on purpose, in a total argument and then we fell in love. so thats kind of quirky and romantic. but i never received any guitars with butts on them or remakes of romance scenes. im missing out lol

  4. These are some pretty good memories...I don't think I can think of things that have happened to me (from boyfriends) that stick out in memory like yours. This gave me a good chuckle :-)

  5. I love that you chose the music to go with this post! I haven't heard that song in a good 5 years, maybe more. :) New follower from the blog hop!

  6. Girl, where do you find these guys?

  7. Hahahaha I love this so much!! Ex stories are some of my favorites.

  8. Too funny- I have a few of these silly things in a box somewhere I think. I apparently also fall for the goofballs of the world. LOL

  9. Wow you've had a slew of creative boyfriends. I haven't had one! That would have been me, if I were a guy- being all creative for my girlfriend!

  10. Haha! This is great! Why would a guy even give you the option of "maybe" though? Lol


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