I Might Be Schizophrenic | One To Nothin'

I Might Be Schizophrenic


Did anyone else used to read the comics in the newspaper every day? The "funny papers," as my mom called them, were absolutely my favorite part of the paper (let's be real, they still are). Well, in the comic "Rose is Rose" the mother character is always spending her time taking care of her husband and son and being all domestic-like, and every once in a while her split personality disorder kicks in and she turns into a badass biker chick.


The reason I tell you all this is because MacKensie is a fairly responsible person. Aside from letting dirty dishes pile up for days and leaving clean clothes in the dryer until completely depleting her supply of clean undies and bathing suit bottoms, therefore forcing her to do another load, she has some of her shit together. She works, goes running, cooks healthy meals and plays with her sweet dog.

But every once in a while, after a couple bottles glasses of Chardonnay, Rose comes out to play and she don't mess around.


While MacKensie drinks juice and runs in her Vibrams, Rose drinks whiskey and runs home from bars. MacKensie drinks coffee and eats vitamins in the morning; Rose drinks sweet tea and eats Advil in the morning. MacKensie dances to Taylor Swift in front of her mirror; Rose dances to Def Leppard on top of tables. MacKensie gets into longterm relationships while Rose flirts with anyone who might buy her a drink. MacKensie texts her friends inside jokes; Rose Snapchats pictures of herself with dirty doodles on them to her friends. MacKensie won't go to bed until she's brushed her teeth, washed her face and put on pajamas; Rose can't be bothered with unbuckling her shoes, sleeps with all her jewelry on and always wakes up looking like a raccoon. MacKensie claims "One to nothin'!" when she guesses the right artist singing the song on the radio; Rose screams "ONE TO NOTHING, MOTHER F***ERS!!!!" at the top of her lungs even when she guesses the wrong artist.

You can tell the transformation process has begun when..


Followed by inappropriate language, obnoxiously loud tone of voice, intense bouts of laughter, a ridiculous amount of blurry photo taking, terrible dancing, iPhone note taking and looots of singing.

So.. if you're ever looking for someone to party with, give Rose a call. 
MacKensie will probably be in bed blogging or something.

11 comments:

  1. haha! love this :) I'm sure most of us can relate to your double personality!

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  2. Rose, I heart you Rose! I loved this post. Your too funny and fun. I love your blog and instagram.
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

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  3. Oh, and your newest follower.
    Cortne
    cocoinmagnolia.com

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  4. Maybe not schizo as much as awesome! ;-)
    Your newest follower,
    -Jamie
    ChatterBlossom

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  5. I kind of love this. Plus, Rose would get along well with my wild child, too. :)

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  6. ohmagerd! i love this post so much. one of the best and funniest blog posts i've read in a while. and those pics. just icing on the cake. i'd love to meet both of you some day. ;)

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  7. p.s. got your button live on my blog! thanks for swapping with me!

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  8. What an awesome post. Too funny.

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  9. Haha, hilarious! I love this post. I'm also happy to know that I'm not the only one who finds iphone notes so important in her drunken stupor.

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  10. Hahaha this is hilarious!!! I would like rose. She sounds like a lot of fun

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  11. When you read the Best Of page and recognize that these pictures were taken in Balls.

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