My Day Off.. | One To Nothin'

My Day Off..

This post pretty much describes me every day, but especially today. 
The thing is, I have the day off, so it's the perfect time to get things done! So what do I do? I sleep in until noon, obviously. Then, I finally get up and I brush my teeth! That's an accomplishment right there. But then I realize it's like 75 degrees and sunny out, so I get depressed that I've spent so much time in bed.. which causes me to lie down again in depression-clouded defeat. BUT then comes my second wind, so I put on clothes and even throw on some foundation (I know. Crazy, right?) before heading to the grocery store and the bank..
So once I've bought vegetables, eggs and Lactaid milk (not a Poptart or family-sized bag of sour cream and onion Lays to be found!) I start to get cocky. I'm all, "I am the CHAMPION of being a mature adult. I think I'll even get my car washed, work out, read and get my tan on.. all before filling out 500 job applications and taking the dogs to the dog park! Then I'll make a list of all the things I'm going to do every day, that way I'll definitely do them." I come home, put my groceries up, blast some music and get distracted by blogs and Facebook. There goes another hour. But it's okay, because I'm a grown ass woman, so I put on my bathing suit and read by the pool until the mosquitos force me to go back inside. 
Pages read: approximately 5
Tan achieved: Casper status
Then I'm hungry and briefly considered going to get some food and remember the responsible vegetable purchases from earlier.. but instead of cooking something fabulous and blogging about it, I hit up Pinterest. OH, hawt lookin' booties! That's what I need. Commence the workout.
When my butt's a burnin' and I'm pretty sure it should look like this..
I sit down at my computer to blog about it and end up watching things like this and this
Listening to this and looking at things like this and this
Current time: 4:23pm.
Food cooked: none
Job applications filled out: zero
Unread e-mails: 366
Car: still disgusting

Hey, at least I made it the the bank and grocery store. And my butt better be sore tomorrow. 
Just saying.

A day off in the life of Kensie.
Happy Tuesday, friends.


3 comments:

  1. I have a love/hate (but mostly fucking hate) relationship with that 22 Butt Exercises pin. I've had it Favorited for a year. I have the flattest ass in the world and though I should bathe in the generously offered butt building tips, I instead sit and mope about all those nice butts in that article and do my best not to think about my own. Life is tough.

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  2. I am crying from laughing. I shared just about every link from the "this" and "this" section. bahahaha. #BestBloggerFriends4Life

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  3. Hahahaha oh. my. goodness. gracious how have I not found you yet?! This is hilarious and word for word exactly what any day of mine looks like. This is just too good.

    I am currently Casper status and doing squats while rocking the baby (I'm a nanny) to sleep to get that Pinterest butt.

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