I’m moving over to Substack, y’all!

I know you’re shocked since I spend so much time writing here! Jk, jk, we all know OTN is a ghost town.

But I love a trendy spot to write down my feelings and lately, blogs just ain’t it—unless you’re a food blogger, in which case you’re probably killing it! Even if everyone complains about the life anecdotes they have to scroll allll the way through to get to the recipe.

And here I am jonesing for more life anecdotes and fewer recipes, which is why I’ll be popping up in willing participants’ inboxes talking about pregnancy, birth, momming, my spiritual journey (aka woo-woo shit), book/music/podcast recs, and trying to balance work/motherhood/a sense of self. Basically just oversharing as usual. OTN 2.0, if you will.

I’m keeping this site up because I’m too sentimental to not, but you can also always find me on Instagram and TikTok (I post far more regularly on those platforms).

Check out my first post and subscribe for free here!

This year I want to write, draw, sing, and move as often and as freely as I did when I was a child. 

I want to dance and run and move my body, not because I want it to change shape or because I already paid for a gym membership, but because it is a privilege and it feels so good to move. It makes me remember how grateful I am to be on this earth right here, right now. 

How lucky am I to be able to stretch, dance, laugh, breathe, and feel the love from the people around me? To hug and kiss and cuddle and smile. 

It’s also a privilege to feel hurt and cry and scream into a pillow and apologize for reacting too quickly.

I want to do what little me would’ve done when she felt her feelings. 

She would’ve listened to music that made her heart swell even when it made her sob, she’d journal for hours (and pray no one would read it), she’d make story books out of napkins and tape, she’d paint and sketch and color without worrying how it would turn out. She’d dance and perform constantly, singing at the top of her lungs, and she’d dream about the grownup she would become. 

She was dreaming about me. 

And I owe it to her to remember how cool it is to be here living the life she dreamed of. 

My goal for this year is to write, draw, sing, and move to honor her.

I cannot believe it’s been half a year since this day already. It truly feels like yesterday, but I hear time always feels weird once you have kids. I’ve been taking monthly photos and documenting milestones on social media, but I thought it would be nice to round them up here as well so I can easily find and remember every little step of the way. I love how at first my descriptions are short and sweet (probably due to extreme sleep deprivation and wedding planning stress) and now each one is a novel. I can’t help it—everything she does is fascinating!! It’s also wild to watch her face change sooo much each month. She’s just perfect.

ONE MONTH

One whole month of Scarlett Olivia Baby girl loves to stick her tongue out, make pterodactyl noises (especially when mom’s trying to sleep), suck on her fingers, and smile in her sleep She grunts like a body builder when she does tummy time, lifts her head like a champ, and is particularly fond of dad’s made up nursery rhymes We are so very tired but incredibly grateful for this easy going, beautiful little nugget 

TWO MONTHS

Baby Scarlett is two months as of yesterday! She is holding her head up like a champ, she loves to smile (especially at Dada and my nipples ), take baths, suck on her fingers, and blow bubbles. She’s over 11 lbs and has already outgrown her newborn outfits She is fascinated by her sensory stimulation cards that Susie Gibson made for her and she pretty exclusively naps on people during the day (but sleeps so well in her bassinet at night ). We are so proud of our little Santa baby and cannot wait for her first Christmas

THREE MONTHS

Somehow our little nugget is already three months old In the past month she really perfected her gummy smile, gave us her first real giggles, and started sticking her whole hand in her mouth. She loves having conversations with her daddy, swaying and vibrating in her swings, going on long walks in her stroller, and napping in her baby wrap. She also terrified her parents when she developed a full-body rash and we took our very first family trip to the ER (she is doing great—in fact, she was happy and chill the whole time, but her parents were losing their sh*t). We are so in love with this little babe. Cheers to 2022 and the many more (hopefully less scary) firsts to come 

FOUR MONTHS

Our sweet baby Scarlett is four whole months old today and ready for her first V-Day next month ❤️‍🔥 Turns out time goes by a lot quicker when you’re not pregnant. Here are some of her many accomplishments from the past month:

She can roll from her back to her side all by herself

She rocks the Superman pose during tummy time

She hugs her stuffies and our arms tight like a little monkey

She loves floating around in the tub with her Otteroo

We think she’s teething because she drools like crazy and puts everything in her mouth

She slams her legs down in her crib and violently shakes her head from side to side when trying to fall asleep

She takes her pacifier out of her mouth (sometimes flinging it across the room)

She chats allll the time with all different pitches and vowels

We are so proud 

FIVE MONTHS

Today our little ScarBow is five months old! She truly becomes more fun and interactive every single day. Here are some of the milestones from the past month:

Excited squeals and gorilla noises and imitating our speech patterns (we even thought we heard a HI at one point).

Obsessed with whatever we’re eating and drinking, so we got her her own tiny cup and she tried a sip of water for the first time!

Works on her core muscles constantly by doing the superwoman pose and even did one unassisted roll tummy to back.

Took her first long road trip from FL to North GA and was a little angel until about 7pm. Now we know she hates being in the car at bedtime. Also learned she loves live music just like her mama!

Still drooling like crazy—goes through several bibs a day!

She just perfected happy baby pose! She has officially found her feet

Loves her story books and has started flipping the pages herself.

Pretty inconsistent with sleeping, but we have gotten several 6- to 8-hour stretches of sleep at night, so we are very grateful that she seems to be getting the hang of it!

This is our last monthly update before mama has to go back to work. It’s definitely bittersweet, but Scarlett is looking forward to spending more time with Nanu during the week.

SIX MONTHS

A very merry half birthday to YOU! Our baby Scarbow is six months old, and her personality is really shining through these days!

She can fit into the very first baby shoes and hug the stuffed bunny we bought for her when we announced our pregnancy Easter of last year

Her beautiful, sparkly blue eyes look like they’re here to stay (thanks for passing those on, Pop-pop!)

She’s been laughing way louder and more often.

She knows where her feet are, points to them, and does the happy baby yoga pose.

She smiles soooo big with her whole face.

She tried blueberries, avocados, bananas, and more. So far she hates and and LOVES drinking water from her tiny cup.

She’s starting to sit up with minimal assistance and enjoys trying food in her high chair.

She stares at and loves on the dogs now. Leon loves licking her and Ziggy likes to guard her crib.

She got her first cold and took it like a champ!

Had her first blowout in the car seat, then had another one

She started sleeping in the crib in the nursery all night long (waking up just for feeds twice a night).

Her bald spot is finally growing in on the back of her head!

Loves touching people’s faces (especially beards), scratching things, and she just started reaching out for Nanu Poppins

This month she got to spend quality time with her besties, Alice and Palmer, and attended her very first costume party (and her eye brows were on point ).

Have I mentioned that we couldn’t be more in love with this little nugget? We feel extremely lucky to have the love and support of our family nearby. Not only is Scarlett a constant source of joy to her parents, but the love she receives from the rest of the fam is truly a blessing to witness. So in case you were wondering, yes, we do miss California, but it’s 10000% worth it to be near our Florida fam (and it’s that much easier to get to the UK to see the other half as well). We can’t wait to take her across the pond this fall!

Since my last post, baby made her quick (and quite dramatic) entrance and we had our AMAZING wedding, so things have been beyond crazy over here. I cannot wait to share it alllll, but for now I want to revisit the third trimester because I like to remember these things.

SYMPTOMS

• Swollen fingers! I was starting to worry that my wedding rings wouldn’t be able to fit on my sausage fingers at the wedding.
• Lots more colostrum leakage. I remember getting frustrated that I’d have to wash my nightgowns every night because they’d have nipple spots all over them—I still refused to wear a bra then, little did I know I’d have to wear a bra with pads in them every day/night once baby actually arrived.
• Karate kicks, especially at night. Around 11pm she’d start having a dance party, but her feet were always in my right ribs.
• Chiropractor and midwives all confirmed she was head down and in a great position for birth.
• Hip pain! I would wake up with one hip aching, so I’d switch to the other side, then wake up to that one aching. For the last couple weeks I’d wake up and ice my hips on the couch because I wouldn’t be able to sleep through it (I don’t miss that part!).
• Startling myself awake with my own snores. I’ve never snored unless I had a cold or something, so this was bizarre to me.
• It was crazy hot out here in Florida at this point, so I was miserable on our few walks I did manage to get in. We took our dog, Leon, to training classes and they were an hour long outside so toward the end Jason had to just go without me. Being outside was my least favorite thing there toward the end.
• Basically none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit anymore. I was living in nightgowns and borrowed t-shirts.
• Passed my glucose test, found out I was a bit deficient in iron but was able to get my levels up with supplements and a couple tinctures my midwives recommended, and once I tested negative for GBS at my 37-week appointment, I felt READY.

BIRTH PREP

• I’d been preparing for birth with the self-study Hypnobabies course since about 27 weeks so that I could use medical-grade hypnosis (no epidural for home births!) when it was go time. I cannot recommend this course enough, but more on that later.
• I started going to a chiropractor who was certified in the Webster Method right around the second trimester to encourage baby to get into the most ideal position for vaginal birth (if baby is not positioned correctly, you’re far more likely to need interventions and that’s when it’s better to be in a hospital setting instead of at home). I went once a week every week, including the day I went into labor.
• Aside from practicing my hypnosis tracks, I was eating six dates a day (to help soften my cervix), drinking about a quart of raspberry tea (I would put it in a big jug in the fridge because I couldn’t stand hot tea during FL summer, and it’s supposed to help with likelihood of going into spontaneous labor vs needing induction), and listening to positive affirmations about birth (a 40-min track I listened to every single day, which was SO helpful).
• I painted my favorite affirmations to hang on the walls during birthing time.
• Sitting on and doing exercises on my birthing ball (I looked up various birthing ball workouts on YouTube—ones not meant to induce labor but rather get baby into a good position). I also did the Miles Circuit a couple of times, including on birthing day. 
• Once I hit 38 weeks I started taking evening primrose orally (after discussing with my midwives and doula who both discouraged inserting vaginally).
• I ordered alllll the supplies for home birth, including a giant tupperware for my placenta. For some reason that part felt more surreal than all the other supplies we acquired, but we also had a waterproof sheet for the bed as well as several plastic shower curtains and sets of sheets to protect the mattress (this will be good to know for the birth story…), a giant trash bag labeled toxic waste (yikes), a net for the birthing pool (yep, for poop lol), puppy pee pads for me to lie on, receiving blankets, and so much more that we never got to use. 
• I read SO many positive natural (unmedicated) birth stories. I couldn’t get enough of these. It was important to me to read about and remember all the things that can (and most often do) go right in birth.
• I got a TENS machine from Amazon as well that I planned to use when contractions (or waves as I called them with my Hypnobabies course) got really intense, but I never used it so I can’t actually vouch for it. I have heard great things though.

FEELINGS

At this point, I was getting really excited and hyper focused on birth. Jason can attest to how much time and dedication I put into my Hypnobabies course—I’m certain he was annoyed at how often he’d come try to tell me something and I’d be deep in hypnosis and not available to chat for about an hour at a time, several times a day (but we both agree it was TOTALLY worth it). I talked to my mom (a retired nurse and 4-time natural birth goddess) pretty much every day, getting pep talks, talking through anxieties, dreaming about what baby would look like, and just marveling at how big my belly was and how much it would move when she’d kick. Jason would go on walks with me whenever I felt up to it, and we were just incredibly excited and so ready to meet our baby girl. 

Dear Baby Bow,

At first I was worried that I couldn’t find a nickname for you. All the other pregnant mamas seemed so content with their little peanuts and jumping beans, but nothing came to me so I just kept calling you Baby Rainbow. 

Your Aunt Britni called you Poppy since I told her about you when you were still the size of a poppy seed. Your Nanu called you Acorn and Unicorn until it was confirmed you were a singleton not, like she had dreamed, twins. Your Pop Pop was convinced you were a boy, so he didn’t quite approve when your Dad started calling you Baby Bow, but I knew you were a girl from the beginning. And Baby Bow stuck. 

We decided on your real name pretty early, but you’re still mostly Baby Bow to me. When you’re karate kicking my (right-side) ribs and surprising me with jabs to my pelvis, when you’re bouncing on my bladder all day every day, when you’re reminding me, not so subtly, to not lay on my back because it cuts off your blood supply, it’s obvious that you’re already your own person. I knew I’d be impressed with how early you showed your personality once you were born, but I didn’t expect to already know so much about you just from the way you wiggle and dance inside my belly every day. 

Several people have told me you’re the most active fetus they’ve seen just from watching my belly move, either in person or on the many, many videos I’ve taken on my phone. I’m fascinated and endlessly entertained by how strong you already seem to be. 

I can’t wait to see your chubby cheeks and to find out if your profile still looks how it did in your 20-week ultrasound. It’s still so hard to believe, even with ALL that movement, that you’re really in this giant belly of mine, that in less than a month I’ll get to hold you in my arms, smell you, feel you, and finally see the face that I’ve been dreaming of for much longer than just these past nine months. The familiar face that I’ll never not know again. 

I’ve wanted a baby ever since I was old enough to ask my mom to have another one for me (she was done). Baby dolls were my absolute favorite, and when my friend told me she was going to get a little sibling, I cried because I was insanely jealous. It’s so surreal that I am finally going to have a baby girl of my own to love forever. 

Once you decide to make your debut, you’ll officially be Scarlett Olivia Rainbow, and it’s going to be exciting, overwhelming, and so many things I can’t even imagine yet. We’ll have inside jokes and traditions, I’ll show you Disney classics, play you all my favorite bands, and read you Harry Potter, you’ll teach me so much about life and love and myself, you’ll help me experience everything for the first time all over again.

But I’ll always remember and cherish this time with you right now. When it was just me and Baby Bow moving through the world as one. When my ribs were always sore and your dad and I were just fantasizing about being your parents all the time.

Thank you for letting us be yours, Baby Bow. You’re already so incredibly loved. 

We cannot wait to meet you.

Huge thanks to Sufia Huq Portraits for capturing these Summer of ’69-themed photos for us.

I found another old photoshoot in my drafts. I guess I never found the words to go with it. Back when I had friends who wanted to practice their “fashion photography” and I was desperate for content (pretty sure some Amazon vendor sent me this dress for free? Who knows). Back went side parts were not just for geriatric millennials. Before I started the big, career-launching job and creating here felt like my personal brand of art that could maybe *actually* be something some day. This little blog pushed me in a lot of ways, and I’m forever grateful for that.

I miss feeling like I was making art here.

Reading through my drafts has been a bit therapeutic, too. I was such a bundle of anxiety there for a while (not that I don’t still have my moments). Some of the darkness I left in drafts just so I wouldn’t freak you guys out, I think. I really wish I had posted that absolutely devastating rant four years ago when he-who-shall-not-be-named was first elected though. Surprisingly eloquent and minimal f-bombs, all things considered.

Anyway, I found a list of “things I used to think” that made me chuckle (guessing it was around age 27 based on a couple of the lines, so five-ish years ago). Thought I’d share.

I used to think guacamole was smooshed up avocado placed alongside enchiladas to give your plate some color and gross texture.

I used to think I’d go to college, get a job and be well into my career by 27.

I used to think I’d have babies before age 30.

I used to think the Beach Boys were wannabes and Simple Plan made good music.

I used to think it was annoying when people would say cellulite is genetic and therefore unavoidable.

I used to think blogging was a fun, fulfilling hobby that would some how turn into a career some day.

I used to think wrinkle cream was a waste of money.

I used to think traveling wasn’t a big deal.

I used to think taking care of a dog wasn’t that much responsibility.

I used to think oysters were the cockroaches of the sea.

I used to think Arcade Fire was annoying and health food stores smelled like mold.

I used to think any form of public transportation was terrifying.

I used to think traveling, navigating, exploring and experiencing by myself wasn’t as fulfilling as with someone else.

I used to think the microwave was a legitimate cooking tool.

Now I know better.

I just found these photos all laid out in my drafts and it made my heart happy. This was probably over three years ago now! My friend Ashley and I coordinated our black outfits, met up in downtown San Francisco, and took insanely fun photos all day.

I was almost done with the last Whole30 I did (and probably will ever do, if I’m honest), so I remember feeling guilty about eating this popsicle—hilarious considering how my preggo ass ate like three servings of ice cream in the tub last night.

Since this day we’ve both moved (her multiple times), gotten married, survived a global pandemic, and, of course, now I’m growing a human. Wild how much can change in just a few short years.

Wish I could go back and try all the ice cream I turned down back before my preggo superpowers wiped out my lactose intolerance 😅

Rockin’ rainbows before I even knew I’d become one.

When we traveled to NYC recently, I got to experience the old familiar excitement of being in a place created by artists just for the sake of making something beautiful (and getting great pics, obvi). I loved that the Bay Area always had something to see, explore, and revel in. I always leave places like this feeling inspired and wanting to create (I’m excited to share all the DIYs we’ve been working on for the wedding here soon).

My hometown certainly doesn’t have any Museums of Ice Cream (or even Classpass for that matter 😭), but I’m so grateful to finally be vaccinated and to be able to explore some of the goods FL has to offer—and I REALLY can’t wait to experience everything for the first time again through brand-new human baby eyes.

That’s all I’ve got. Thanks for taking this stroll down memory lane with me. I guess procrastinating on a blog post (for over three years) sometimes has its perks 😉

The second trimester has gone by SO much faster than the first. Probably because I was no longer nauseous and could actually stay awake long enough to go on adventures/plan the nursery/etc. Since getting vaccinated, we started traveling more. We ventured out to Savannah, GA for Jason’s birthday, Disney’s Blizzard Beach to meet up with a friend in town, met my best friend’s new baby in New Jersey and explored New York (my first time there in the summer 🥵), and went on our babymoon—a roadtrip *with the dogs* to the Carolinas (more on that later). Overall I felt really good aside from the occasional heartburn/indigestion and growing pains. It’s been fun trying to dress my bump and having strangers randomly saying “congrats” since it’s fairly obvious there’s an actual baby in there now (and luckily no one has been rude yet ha!).

SYMPTOMS

• If I thought my boobs were huge in my last post, woweeeee they’re ginormous now. I had to buy all new bras and even my new sports bras feel like they’re going to break my ribs now. Not excited to see how big they’ll get once the milk arrives 😳
• Speaking of milk, or colostrum if we’re being technical… my right nipple leaked pretty consistently from about 16 weeks on. And before that both nips were peeling like crazy. SO WEIRD.
• Baby girl is kicking like a champ! I started feeling her around week 18 (tiny flutters that I thought might just be gas bubbles) and now it actually hurts sometimes when she does a surprise drop kick in the ribs.
• Burping SO loudly. I’ve never been a big belcher, but I sure am now. I think it has to do with that pesky heartburn/indigestion preggos always talk about, but I find it pretty entertaining.
• Sleeping in a lot more. It’s been way harder to get up in the mornings vs. the first trimester where it was impossible for me to sleep in!
• My nails are so good. I’ve never had such strong, long, or shiny nails in my life and I am here. for. it.
• My belly button (which has always been like a teeny coin slot) is trying so hard to be an outie! It’s basically sticking out above where my belly button starts. So strange.

CRAVINGS

• Vanilla yogurt and ALL the fresh fruit—especially figs now that they’re finally in season. Papayas, cherries, peaches, I love them all.
• And while we’re on the subject, dairy. All of it. I love cheese, cream cheese on bagels, cottage cheese, hot cheese, cold cheese, ice cream—you name it. Just call me the Dairy Queen. I reeeeally hope I don’t lose this lactose superpower after baby is born.
• This is redundant but banana splits. Fussy ones. I sent Jason to the grocery store to get me a list of like 20 must-have banana split toppings and it was PHENOMENAL. I also learned that Baskin Robbins sell them premade and maybe I shouldn’t have learned that (wish me luck at my glucose test tomorrow!).

AVERSIONS

• I don’t think I have any anymore, which is pretty nice. Basically I just enjoy food so much more than I used to—I swear it tastes better when you’re pregnant.

FEELINGS

It’s been tough having to slow down physically. I’ve been walking on the treadmill, doing yoga and weight workouts here and there, but with the heat, humidity, and extra weight on my belly, I’m certainly not the athlete I was. It’ll all be worth it though. I’ve been nesting and I can’t wait to show off the nursery once we get it all done. Starting to freak out about being ready for that much awaited wedding that’s finally coming up, but weirdly feeling more calm and excited about birth than ever before. I recently started the Hypnobabies course to help me prepare for an unmedicated, at-home water birth(!!) and it really feels like the right thing for us. I’m sure I’ll write many posts on this in the future, but for now I’m just looking forward to seeing what my body and mind are capable of. Can’t wait for the best fall ever!

I’ve always loved reading about the weird and beautiful changes that happen to women’s bodies when they’re pregnant, so now that I’m no longer in the throes of first trimester nausea, I thought I’d document my own.

HOW WE FOUND OUT

I got off of hormonal birth control about three months before we were ready to start trying and started tracking my basal temperature through the Natural Cycles app (I can’t recommend this enough! I learned so much about my body and knew exactly when I’d be ovulating). Every morning, as soon as I woke up, I’d take my temperature and log it in the app. I used it to avoid pregnancy through New Year’s since I knew I’d want to be able to chug champagne at my bachelorette party and all, and once I got back, we switched the app to get-pregnant mode and I bought ovulation test sticks to help the algorithm as much as possible. After three months of tracking, the app was pretty confident about which days I was ovulating so we went for it, but I was convinced that it would take several tries before I actually got pregnant.*

I had a couple boxes of pregnancy tests, but started taking them waaay too early—like eight days before my missed period. I was excited, ok!? So after the second negative test, I ordered a huge box of cheap ones from Amazon so I wouldn’t feel guilty about taking them so often. I forced myself not to take one six days before my missed period, so I felt like i deserved to take one on the fifth day (yes, I’m neurotic). It was a Saturday morning and at this point the only symptoms I had were tiny pimples on my forehead and a visual migraine, but I chalked it up to PMS until the word PREGNANT popped up on that test. I was in shock and so full of adrenaline that I immediately showed the test to a very hungover Jason who immediately asked, “IS THIS ACCURATE?” So I chugged a bunch of water until I could pee again and took another test. It confirmed the pregnancy, but of course it still didn’t feel real until I started getting nauseous.

*I’ve had lots of friends who have had a really hard time getting pregnant, and I know we are incredibly lucky that everything fell into place on our first try. Who knows if this will be the case if we try for more in the future, but for now I’m so grateful and my heart goes out to everyone who is trying or going through IVF or grieving a loss right now ❤️

SYMPTOMS

• The acne on my forehead started getting worse and spreading to my chin.
• I started cramping quite a bit—felt a lot like period cramps.
• My boobs started getting really sore and growing like CRAZY (they’re huge now).
• I got really tired early in the evenings and couldn’t sleep in past 7:30 even on weekends (I still work West Coast hours, so I had been in the habit of sleeping in a bit).
• My belly was crazy bloated.
• I started getting super queasy before and after eating (so grateful I was working from home during this time—the thought of riding the train every day while feeling like this is my actual nightmare).
• Crying over everyyyyything, like even TikToks that were slightly heartwarming.
• I worked out pretty consistently through the first trimester, but I noticed I lost my breath and got WAY more tired than usual.
• Sinus problems—my sinuses are always troublesome, but apparently your sinuses swell even more when you’re pregnant, so the netty pot has been on double duty every day.

CRAVINGS

• I hadn’t been eating any meat except fish leading up to this pregnancy, but I started craving chicken like crazy. Especially chicken tenders/Zingers.
• French toast, waffles, pancakes—all sweet breakfast foods! I used to be a strictly savory breakfast kinda gal, but suddenly French toast was everything to me.
• Sweets in general. I was so good about eating healthy and avoiding sugar before but suddenly I was DYING for brownies, cookies, even cake! I don’t even like cake, but wowzas hormones are wild.
• Bagels with REAL CREAM CHEESE. The weirdest part of this pregnancy so far is that my lactose intolerance has somehow decided it doesn’t exist, but I am NOT complaining. I haven’t had this much cheese probably since I was a child.
• White rice/fries/crackers. Anything bland that would make the nausea go away.
• BLTs, again, hadn’t eaten pork in about a year but suddenly it was all I wanted.

AVERSIONS

• Eggs—we have fresh eggs now and J was cooking them every morning but even the smell would make me gag.
• Salmon, another favorite before getting pregnant that one day suddenly grossed me out so bad. I ordered it at a restaurant after our photoshoot and almost threw up after one bite. I had to order fries instead 😂
• Coffee—this worked out since you’re not supposed to have a whole lot of caffeine anyway, but I’d take one sip, get nauseous, and drink ginger ale instead.
• The preggy pops and ginger candy I was eating religiously to keep nausea at bay eventually started reminding me of feeling nauseous… Still can’t eat those preggy pops anymore.

FEELINGS

I wanted to tell everyone SO BAD. It was so hard keeping it a secret (we did tell our families very shortly after finding out). I was constantly thinking, reading, dreaming, talking about it with J and my family, so it was very hard to keep the news to myself. I managed to keep it in until around week 12 though. It wasn’t until we got an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat at week 8 that J started to believe it was real. She looked like a teeny little gummy bear back then. Hard to believe we’re already halfway now! We absolutely cannot wait to meet our little nugget.