A Fresh Start | One To Nothin'

A Fresh Start

Sponsored Post: This post is sponsored by Wente Vineyards, but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.
Two years ago, it looked like I settling in. It was a nesting year. My apartment’s furnishings drastically improved—I decorated for each holiday, bought kitchen supplies and blogged a lot. I started a new (boring) job that year with great benefits and more money. Everything looked very in place. And it made me all the more anxious. 

After months of dreaming I was trapped in a sinking car, getting robbed of all the things I cherish or losing children I was responsible for watching, I realized I needed to make a change. I decided to quit my job and see where things went from there. 

Immediately, my car—which had recently been paid off—was hit by a semi, and suddenly I had to deal with the entirely unappealing process of buying a new car (everyone was safe—I am v grateful, but still). On top of leaving my cushy job and losing my car, my long-term relationship was coming to an end. And just like that, I went from settling in to overhauling everything. 

The past year hasn’t been the easiest—transitions never are—but y’all, I made the best of it. I took a temporary job nannying, which I knew I would love, and I freelanced on the side. I don’t particularly condone quitting a good job without a safety net, but I guess I kind of do. If you’re not happy, who cares about your resume? I didn’t. It was scary. It worked out.
During that time I went through three different roommates, but I also made new friends, got closer to my old ones, explored new places, ran a marathon and, of course, drank lots and lots of wine

I didn’t spend nearly as much time expressing myself on the blog last year, but in a way that felt more authentic. Pouring my insecurities and worries out on the internet when I could barely articulate them to the people who needed me to figure my life out IRL didn’t really seem fair. I took a step back. 

My word of the year was “freedom,” and while I hoped that would bring clarity or a job that allowed me to forget about my bills and go on adventures, it ended up meaning things had to get crazy for a while before they could get better. But they did get better. 
I got a new car that I love. I have a different outlook on relationships and what I need going into the future. I found awesome freelancing opportunities while I cared for two of the cutest children I’ve ever seen. I remembered how excited I am for a future with my own children one day. And as of two months ago, I started a new job that I’m absolutely stoked about (I’m a writer at Sephora now, ICYMI). 
I doubted my decisions a lot over the past year. There were moments where I cried into my pillow (Ziggy pawing at my head, trying to lick my tears), or called my mom or sister hoping they would tell me I was doing the right things. But ultimately, regardless of whether I was able to get a new, nicer car or score a badass job, right now I am more me than I have been in a long, long time.

It took messing pretty much everything up pretty bad to get here, but I am so happy I did. 

TL;DR? Watch the video to get the gist.

4 comments:

  1. Here's to messing everything up to find some truth!❤

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lady, this is the TRUTH. I feel you on every level and I'm always looking for new wine!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Note to self: Wente gives you abs. *goes out and buys a crate of wine*

    ReplyDelete

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