It's not for you | One To Nothin'

It's not for you

Interacting with humans is weird (looks like Ziggy agrees). 

It's weird for me at least. I spent a good portion of the past two years' work hours with an infant who didn't say much and whenever I spoke with adult humans throughout the day, they commented on his appearance. He was (and is) the most beautiful baby in the world, so I can't say I blame them, but it definitely took the pressure off. Although I'd occasionally get the, "You're too young to be his mom.." or "He looks nothing like you.." comments (I was the nanny), for the most part all eyes were on him. Luckily infants don't know how to be self conscious yet, so he'd smile, coo, wave and sometimes cry or scream in response.
When strangers comment on my appearance I don't so much have the desire to react in those ways.
Well, sometimes I want to to scream or cry, but I never do. Usually I awkwardly smile or apologize or laugh nervously because I don't have the cojones to say..
"That was rude."
"I'm uncomfortable."
"We've never met."
"I don't want to smile."
or
"Step off, bro."
These days I spend a lot more time with folks my own age, and while I'm not outraged by someone commenting on my new hairstyle or the fact that I actually wore makeup that day, I am sometimes confused by it. 
I love makeup and clothes and beauty products. 
I love experimenting with new braids, perfumes, silhouettes, frames.
I dress up for me.
And sometimes for the camera when it's 92 degrees inside. Sometimes for my #squad when we're nearly naked poolside in Vegas. Sometimes for my boyfriend when we're glamping.
But it's not for you, stranger on the street, in the office, at the store.
Not once has it ever been for you.

Just wanted to clear that up.
 

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