I confess.. | One To Nothin'

I confess..


I meant to post this yesterday but my car got stuck on a curb while I was trying to parallel park leading to a full on sob fest and reminder that PMS is real.

Later on I ate an abundance of feelings at a Chinese restaurant.

I managed to moon the world, not once, but twice on Monday. One of which was when I was attempting to stop my dog from choking herself on her leash when she recklessly jumped out of the car while it caught on the console and the other was realized when a kind woman on the sidewalk informed me that my purse was pulling up my dress. Cool.

I then debated with the other human I was with about whether my butt was too big or the dress was too small. The jury is still out on that.

The first thing I ate today was nib toffee and I spent a good 15 seconds semi-convincing myself that hippie chocolate was okay to eat first thing in the morning. I think the word "healthy" even popped into my half-asleep brain. I regret nothing.

I signed up for a half marathon about a month from now that I'm not particularly prepared for and put a deposit down for a week in Vegas this summer that I'm also not particularly prepared for, and neither of which I can particularly afford.

I've seen way too many unwrapped condoms just out in the world lately. One resting over a pool table hole (I was told "you don't win if you don't put it in the condom hole..") and another just sunbathing in the grass by Lake Merritt. Like.. WHY!?

I didn't hate the 50 Shades movie. Maybe because I had ridiculously low expectations? Or maybe because I totally read the book? Or I'm just a horrible person? Also, I think everyone needs to chill. You don't have to watch it. 

On my flight to California there was a perfectly nice man sitting next to me minding his own business and reading manuals or something, but every once in a while he would suck on his teeth loudly. Like he was really trying to show a cough drop who's boss. This little, periodic, seemingly harmless act made me fantasize about punching him in the face. I actually thought through the consequences and tried to weigh them out in my mind. Maybe I shouldn't have put this confession right after the 50 Shades one..

And on that note, I'm out.

Go link up with Melissa!

3 comments:

  1. I love you for confessing on Thursday. You and your full moon are the most wonderful. What's Ziggy think about your dress vs butt argument?

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  2. Why do people get so worked up about popular movies/books, and feel the need to TAKE A STAND!! against them? Relax, everyone. Please. {insert joke wildly inappropriate joke here, that I will refrain from saying because I don't know if we're there yet}

    The only way to deal with PMS is to eat your feelings at a Chinese restaurant. Or drink them away at a bar.

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  3. You seriously crack me up. haha So sorry about the mooning incidents, and the curb incident... But thank you for sharing them in a humorous way. :) I also think it's much easier to just blame the dress, totally the dresses fault.

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