Okay, full disclosure: I'm not sure that it's magic face potion yet, but one of the crazy awesome writers at XOvain swears by it, and that's enough for me. It's cane and arrowroot stock boiled. In fact, this magic face potion was the sole reason for my journey to Chinatown on Saturday (the delicious food and libations were just an awesome bonus). We wandered into a rando market where I asked the lady where the cane and arrowroot stock was, to which I received a puzzled look and a, "Is that Chinese?" Of course, I immediately felt racist and assumed I was looking for a Japan-specific soup stock, but was super pumped to notice a big ole bag of it just as we were about to walk out. At a whopping 75 cents per bag, I bought two and went on my merry way.
This is what it looks like. It's supposed to cure acne. Oh, did I forget to tell you that my skin has reverted back to high school lately? Yea, cool. Not even just my face either. My back, neck and shoulders are breaking out, too. There were some elbow zits in there, also, which were really just confusing for me. I blame the asphalt and ghetto-sporin from my concrete-eating runs for those though. As for the rest of it, I guess we could take bad diet, poor hydration, cold weather, lack of birth control pills and trying a slew of new facial creams/makeup products for work into consideration, but I'm still going to pout about it. And drink the crap out of some arrowroot juice, of course.
I dumped the bag (dried carrots and all) into boiling water and let it boil for about an hour before turning it down to a simmer and leaving it alone for a few hours. Eventually I strained out the solid stuff and distributed the urine-like liquid into mason jars to chill in the fridge. I've polished off two jars so far, one yesterday and one today. It's definitely not delicious. In fact it's kind of gross, but there's sugar cane in there so at least it's kind of sweet? I don't know, I'll keep you guys updated so you don't have to suffer through drinking it unless it works. In the meantime I'll also be chugging down 3 liters of water a day and using my newly purchased Proactiv religiously. I haven't been this motivated since, well, probably middle school when this whole ridiculous acne business started in the first place.
This just seems appropriate.