And no, I don't mean conventions-- even though I think it's rad that they exist and I think they should be more like Comic Con and we should all dress up as our favorite bloggers.
I mean cons as in the opposite of pros. Like, pros before hoes and all that.
Okay, first off people who don't blog don't understand some very essential things about bloggers (and this is by no means any fault of their own, it just comes along with the territory of not sharing intimate details of their daily lives on the internetz each day). They don't understand the contradiction that is our very existence. The one where we write about our lives every day on a very public platform and cry into our diy chevron pillows when no one comments on our posts, and yet don't actually want anyone we meet in real life to know it exists, let alone read it.
Don't get me wrong, I love it when others enjoy this little space as much as I do and I get great satisfaction out of knowing that IRL people are interested in what I write when I already know them. Sure, every now and again we stress about getting lectured by Grandma about dropping the f-bomb or that priest from that one wedding that you're not even sure how you became Facebook friends with reads about your tendencies to binge drink and run home from bars afterward, but all that pales in comparison to the issue I've been running into lately.
Apparently it's not uncommon for non-blogger friends to bring up your internet hobby in front of others. Strangers, usually. And usually strangers who are trying to hit on you and in other words the exact strangers you want your blog to remain anonymous to forever and ever (because no one likes to censor their blog posts because some rando from that bar who makes a great story now knows your blog address).
It stems from interest, which really is flattering. But the problem is, non-bloggers who are interested in what we do (because there are many, of course, who couldn't give two shits about what we got at Starbucks and how sweaty we are after our gym sessions) are this way for several reasons.
One. They are thinking about writing their own blog and want to see how we are doing it.
Two. They hate us and want fuel for the fire (I mean, we give them plenty of fuel).
Three. They don't understand why we do it and they want to know why they are interested enough to keep typing that URL in there.
Four. They really enjoy our content.
Five. All the other reasons, like oh, that recipe looks delish. Or where did she get that necklace? Or how did her butt get so big? Or she moved where?!
And six. You're a dude interested in a chick who happens to write about her entire little being on the internet, so you scroll through those archives gathering up information that either gives you the complete upper hand (provided you're not a creep and most likely attractive) or scares the pants right off of your internet savvy bod and you go running for the hills.
All this to say, a lifestyle blog is by no means a first date convo piece and is not to be placed on a dating site profile. Ever. And if I know you and you read my blog, thank you. That's awesome. But if we're out in a bar and we're chatting up some fellas, don't mention my blog and I won't mention your strange addiction to eating toilet paper. Sometimes they're equally awkward.