Roommate Applications Currently Being Accepted | One To Nothin'

Roommate Applications Currently Being Accepted


Match.com, eHarmony, PlentyofFish, shoot, even Christan Mingle, you've got it all wrong. Dudes? They're easy. Finding a date is not the issue, my friends, finding a roommate is where it's at. That's the online dating site I'd like to be on. But, like, a legit one. Not this "Yo, I need a place to live, so do you, you may or may not be a serial killer, let's find out while sharing a living space" business. I just want to know why CraigsList hasn't found me a Winston, Nick Miller and Schmidt yet. Emphasis on the Nick Miller.

And while we're on the subject, there should be a legit adult-trying-to-make-friends-in-a-brand-new-environment site as well. (There, I said it--intellectual property. Don't Winklevoss me, computer geniuses!) This Meetup.com stuff isn't working for me. Actually, here's the deal. How about all you bloggers out there that I'm obsessed with stop living in all different parts of the world so you can just be here and live with me. That way we can drink champagne in a can, discuss Google Analytics, lol over clever (or dramatic) tweets, start doing all those DIY pins that will never be done otherwise, have an automatic #ootd photographer and basically fulfill both my roommate and friend requirements. Two birds, one stone. Boom. I see no flaws in this plan.


That being said, I'm taking roommate applications. And before deciding whether you'd like to apply or not, I feel that I should give you all a little more information about myself and what I have to offer.

Strengths: likes to party, doesn't judge, really good at truth or dare, cooks, shares alcohol, gets really into tv shows on Netflix, has the coolest dog ever, doesn't smoke, doesn't have friends/boyfriends to stay the night, doesn't walk around naked (usually), likes dance parties, lets you borrow her clothes

Weaknesses: hates cleaning, dishes and laundry, stays up too late on school nights, forgets to do normal things like shower when binging on Netflix shows, can't eat pizza without severe consequences, has the hairiest dog ever, afraid of spiders, will blog about you at some point, borrows your clothes

Special skills: ties cherry stems in knots with tongue, can speak very broken spanish but doesn't unless she's drunk, is an excellent wingman, drunken philosophical discussions, pig latin, disgusting shot-making, knows most songs in most genres, drinking games, back bends, cry-laughing


So feel free to send me your application and any sort of deposit would be greatly appreciated by my bank account and shoe collection. Now let's back our azzes up because it's Friday.

11 comments:

  1. I agree with the friendship in a new city thing. I'm going to be moving soon and finding real world friends is stressing me out! I'm going to die aloneeee, hahahaha.

    <a href="http://mishfish13.com>Michelle @ Mishfish13</a>

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  2. I love cleaning and I have no problem picking up a spider barehanded and carrying it outside. So, win, let's move in together!

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  3. Where can I apply!? (Also see how well I'm doing with my "vacation" from social media...woof)

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  4. personally i am team schmidt. much more entertaining and less depressing. also, thoughts on joining a running club maybe? or are you one of those only like to run by myself types?

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  5. Why don't I live in the place you live?! hahah. You sound like the perfect roommate! I feel like I need to live with another blogger to keep me motiveated and shit :p Good luck with the next nick miller search!

    xo Becky
    www.seductivemania.com

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  6. Loved this! Miss you! :)
    xx
    Aubrey

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  7. If we lived together it would probably turn into something like the girls from Eleventh Gorgeous (http://www.youtube.com/user/eleventhgorgeous) and definitely some My Drunk Kitchen. Hot messes.

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  8. You are hilarious! That was a great post! So glad to have found your blog :)

    XXLizzy

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  9. we're basically perfect for each other.
    i'm on my way.

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  10. If I were all by my lonesome, I'd be on my way!!!!

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  11. Um, hello...I'd like to submit my application.

    I also enjoy drinking, dance parties, getting caught up in shows (and books) and forget that I have a life outside of my iPad. May I also say that I don't mind cleaning or laundry, so I can take care of that.

    I might also borrow your clothes.
    I might also blog about you.

    Too bad we're on different coasts.

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