I have a sports bra that's been soaked in so much sweat that the material touching the armpit is petrified. Like, it's literally hard as a rock. I refuse to throw it away.
When I drink water within an hour before a run, it sloshes around so loud it sounds like mullet fish jumping out and belly flopping back into the water.
You know those coffee mugs that say "Coffee makes me poop"? No? Proof. I need one, except replace "coffee" with "running."
I have approximately 12 different photos on my phone (like, right now) of gruesome, festering running blisters on my feet and I will gladly show them to anyone who asks.
The first time I ever competed in a cross country race (junior year of high school) I lost control of my bladder and totally pissed myself. Luckily our shorts were yellow.
Whenever I hear the term, "Carb-o-loading," I can't help but imagine Michael Scott doing this.
I do a lot of air drumming while I run and when I'm feeling especially saucy, I'll sing out loud. This surely doesn't help conserve energy, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
There was a time when I ran so much that my hips and buttocks were record small, and I took advantage of this time by shopping for running shorts in the kids section. As a consequence, one of my very few pairs of name-brand running shorts is currently too small to fit me and I cut out the built-in undies of both pairs.
I've never lost a toenail from running and I'm a little disappointed by it. I know it's gross, but so hardcore!
I totally love bragging about working out on social media. It's not that I'm trying to make others feel inadequate, but it motivates me so hard. When I see someone else just finished a badass workout and I just finished a can of Pringles, it makes me want to put the can down and do something. Plus I feel so accomplished when I can tell the world of twits that I finished that workout or went running even though I actually wanted to sit on my computer and read blogs instead. It helps. Science. (Read this article if you don't believe me).
So I know this all probably TMI, but..
If I'm gonna tell it, then I gotta tell it all.
Soon you'll see that my hips don't lie at all,
I'm gon' be so toned, you won't know what to do,
But to enjoy part two of my confessions.
One more week of #OPERATIONSHAKIRABOD! Go hard, follow me, tag me (@Mackensieg), hashtag it,