Dear Instagram Followers, I'm obsessed with photographing my meals. Sorry I'm not sorry. (@mackensieg)
Dear Readers, Have you ever melted cheese on apples? Apple nachos = AMAZING.
Dear Fellow Big-booty-hoes, This treadmill workout is awesome. Pair it with an episode of How I Met Your Mother and voila! Feel the burn. #bunsofsteelhereIcome
Dear Downtown, I think you ate my dipndots sign. I guess I'll let it slide since I made it about two years ago. It had a good run. Here's the first time I wore it. Throwback!
Dear Songza App, You make me so happy. I can't make myself listen to stations that are not 90s though. It's a problem. This. Oh, and this.
Dear Ziggy, I do not appreciate you licking my freshly-spray-tanned leg with your slobbery tongue. Now I have a reverse birthmark on my leg. COOL.
Dear Spray Tan Lady, Sorry you had to see that.
Dear Biffle, I still can't believe you're getting married tomorrow. Holy cow.
Dear Waterproof Mascara, I will be purchasing you today. Do not fail me on Saturday. I'm depending on you.