I don't mean to brag, you guys, but I've been doing this blogging thing regularly since 2011 and my standard for acceptable blog con...
1. I'm so bad at keeping up with my nail painting. I don't know how you crazies do it. I currently have one nail on each hand that is completely polish-less. And I am sitting in front of all the supplies I need to fix this and yet I am typing away and watching "American Dad."
2. I currently have a huge bump and bruise on my head and I have no clue how it got there.
3. This week I've consumed a ridiculous amount of cake, rice, noodles, chips, Sonic and even some accidental real-life dairy butter (not to mention tequila). #mybodyhatesme
4. I had to do two separate loads of laundry the other day because the mountain of dirty clothes in my room was insurmountable. I have yet to put any of these clothes in my drawers and again, here I am watching tv.
5. I sometimes get excited when I hear a catchy new song on the radio until I come to the cruel conclusion that it's actually just a commercial for a lawyer referral service
6. After leaving my lunch creation's (which involved garlic) container in my car overnight, it now smells like straight up rancid baby vomit. For real.
7. I'm so stoked for fall. I wish I could just hang out at a pumpkin patch all day.
8. I have a terrible habit of drunk texting lately. My phone needs a retract-text button.