One To Nothin'

Songs About Food

If you don't already follow my new Instagram account, @doesthishavedairy, you probably should. You'll find photos of delicious, dairy-free food that I've baked, cooked, eaten or gawked at and, as shown above, song lyrics about food/drinks. I've had way too much fun in the past couple months brainstorming appropriate foodie songs because I'm obsessed with music.. and noms.. and Instagram. So now it's your turn. Leave a comment with as many food-related songs as you can possibly think of and make my life that much better. Seriously, guys, I need your help. I want to keep this train rolling as long as possible.


Lately it's been hard to find words. I'm torn between an exhilarating, passionate love for this ridiculous place where I get to live and vacation, and feelings of fear, anxiousness and heartbreak for our country, for the world, for my friends and, of course, for myself. I had an incredible week and a half reuniting with old friends, meeting new ones, seeing new places and revisiting gorgeous ones. I learned how to bake sourdough bread and let my own city take my breath away, and then I had to slow down, the hardest part. That tricky moment when you realize you can't keep going full speed ahead like this forever and it's going to hurt when your feet are no longer cushioned by adrenaline. When you're not trying new foods or sailing at sunset, and instead you're sitting on your couch--his couch--and you're too overwhelmed to open your laptop. When you want nothing more than to tell someone who knows all the details and is already invested all about it, but you can't. When you have to stand by and understand the decisions you've made. When the sound of fireworks gives you fight or flight. When rustling trees outside make your heart skip a beat. When every day you hear about someone else who died for no reason. This summer is off to a wonderful and truly tragic beginning.

USA Bachelorette Party

If you're one of the 5,469,354 people I know getting engaged this summer, perhaps you're considering having your bachelorette party next year. Around the Fourth of July perhaps? Or maybe you're a patriotic gal who just likes making your babelicious friends wear matching clothes. Either way, here are some ideas for you to work with.
Step one: Buy a shit load of red, white and blue fake flowers from Michael's and spend a week straight wiring them together to create America-themed flower crowns for your crew. Your friends will love you even more when they see the gnarly calluses you've collected on your thumbs for them.
Step two: Order skimpy matching red one pieces that say something along the lines of, "BAE WATCH." Even if the white one for the bride doesn't come in on time, they make for great photos.
Step three: Bring lots of patriotic decor from the dollar bin at Target to create a photo back drop.
Bonus step four: Collect friends with big booties and show off the bride's veiled flower crown in an obligatory butt shot.
Step five: Stay at an Airbnb that has plenty of greenery and a hammock in the backyard for optimal mimosa drinking and picture taking.
Step six: Order custom shirts and cups that say "Let's Get Star Spangled Hammered" and your custom hashtag, in our case #SalterPalooza
Step seven: Never, ever run out of champagne.
Step eight: Be obnoxiously loud everywhere you go - you are required to be a "woo girl" on an occasion like this.
Step nine: Take a bajillion photos.
Step ten: Bring penis straws to a fancy brunch place where they serve bottomless mimosas.
Step eleven: Try unsuccessfully to pry the smile off your face after spending three days with your favorite humans in the world.
 Step twelve: AMERICA!


LA Video Recap

I spent the past week in L.A and San Diego, and it was incredible. I want to tell you all about it, but for now I'll just let this video of the bachelorette party my lovely friend Wendy made do the talking (watch out for my sick dance moves - also, probably NSFW). Enjoy.
Liz does LA from Wendy Cheng on Vimeo.

Fourth of July JELL-O Jigglers

Fourth of July JELL-O Jigglers. Jigglers feels weird. That's a weird word, right? Is it even actually a word? I can't stop thinking of boobs. Besides JELL-O and boobs, what jiggles? I guess my thighs do. Anyway. Now that I've got the jiggling out of my head and onto this blog, how's it going? I've missed y'all. Life, much like 'jiggler' is strange as hell lately.
Updates: I have a new roommate moving in next week, I'm heading to LA this weekend for my BFF's bachelorette party, I have a billion crafting projects to finish before then, I'm currently battling the gnarliest 3-week sinus infection, I stubbed my toe 15 times already this week, I'm totally torn on how I want to make money starting in October and this is the longest sentence in America.
Speaking of America, let's celebrate our independence (since we don't have much else to celebrate here recently..) with some corn syrup and gelatin, shall we?
Here's what you need:
A 6oz box of blue JELL-O
A 6oz box of red JELL-O
2 3oz packets of KNOX unflavored gelatin
1 1/4 cup Unsweetened almond milk, divided (or regular for you non-lactose intolerants)
1/4 c sugar
Star cookie cutter
3 same-size pans (bigger for thinner, smaller for thicker)

Bring 1 1/4 cup water to a boil and add blue JELL-O. Stir until it's dissolved - about three minutes. Pour into one of the pans and repeat with the red JELL-O, pouring it into a separate pan. Let them set in the fridge. Next mix unflavored gelatin with 1/4 cup almond milk and mix, let set for five minutes. Bring 1 cup almond milk to a boil, remove from heat and add sugar until dissolved. Now combine both almond milk mixtures and let cool for 10 minutes. Pour it into a new pan and put it in the fridge. Let them all refrigerate for about three hours and once they're firm, use your star cookie cutter to create an equal number of stars in each pan. To make removal easier, you can dip the bottom of the pan in warm water for about 15 seconds and use a spatula to get under each star. Layer the stars on top of each other and take a shit ton of photos, uh, I mean, serve.
If you're anything like me, you won't have any smaller sized star cookie cutters, so you'll cut out deformed ones and love them all the more for their imperfections. They're cute though, right? Unfortunately adding booze will likely ruin any chance of them getting firm enough for cookie cutters, but if you're willing to try it, please do let me know how it goes. I would like nothing more than to eat vodka JELL-O stars on the Fourth of July.

What are you doing to celebrate this weekend?


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